One of the better sayings that usually emerges around this time of the year is “Let’s put Christ back into Christmas.” We could extend this saying to the celebration of funerals and coin the phrase “Let’s put Christ back into Christian funerals.” 

The aims of a Christian Funeral are simple but also ambitious. No. 7 of the Introduction to the Funeral Rite says, that “The celebration of the Christian funeral brings hope and consolation to the living. While proclaiming the Gospel of Jesus Christ and witnessing to Christian hope in the resurrection, the funeral rites also recall to all who take part in them God's mercy and judgment and meet the human need to turn always to God in times of crisis.” It sounds a big ask but by adhering to a few sound principles found in the Church’s Rite of Funerals, we can enable people to leave the funeral both inspired and consoled by Christ and filled with hope that comes from His death and resurrection.

To achieve this takes time and effort and a good dose of sensitivity on the part of our parish communities and those who support the bereaved in funeral preparation. We do not do it by ourselves and no family need stand alone in time of grief. As No. 9 of the Introduction points out, “The responsibility for the ministry of consolation rests with the believing community, which heeds the words and example of the Lord Jesus: 'Blessed are they who mourn; they shall be consoled' (Matthew 5:3). Each Christian shares in this ministry according to the various gifts and offices in the Church.”

However, there can be moments of tension within the funeral ministry. In No.16 the Rite of Funerals encourages us to listen sensitively to the needs of the family and to allow the circumstances of the deceased person’s life and death to influence the celebration. This can be the most difficult aspect of the funeral preparation ministry. There can be stressful moments like the desire of the family to “deliver” a “Eulogy” (not actually permitted by the Rite, see no. 27) not only in words but also using slides or images. We have probably witnessed the stress in people when the Words of Remembrance goes far too long, or when it becomes a rambling collection of memories that means little to anyone other than a few people. Then there is desire on the part of so many to use secular songs. All these stress points can lead the Funeral Liturgy away from its primary purpose of proclaiming hope in the death and resurrection of Christ and giving people comfort. If we are not careful these can also be tipping points in the relationship between the family and the church, turning people away from a Liturgy that is meant to help them in being touched by God in such a challenging time.

Somehow a balance must be reached, but if we can reach the balance by sensitively guiding the bereaved family in the funeral preparation, then the Liturgy itself on the day will soar! It can lift people from despair to hope. We can make a difference in supporting the family to choose appropriate Scripture readings or meaningful hymns; but it is important to remember that the ministry of funeral preparation is not only about tasks of choosing this or that for the Liturgy. It is about both the priest and his co-workers connecting with bereaved people in their hour of need. There is no substitute for knowing what the Rite of Funeral says about all these matters. It is worth the attention of the whole parish community, for whoever we are in the Christian community we are called to have a special concern for those who carry the heavy burden of the loss of a loved one. In all these matters, perhaps the general principle of keeping Christ central in a Christian funeral, both in its preparation and the Liturgy is our best starting point.

Fr. Don White, Parish Priest, cluster of the Mackay South parishes.